Sunday, November 25, 2012

Mercy Me......

Tonight I was washing the dishes while the children were sleeping and listening to pandora. I have it set to christian contemporary music. I heard this song by mercy me called you are I am. I have heard it a thousand times but tonight the words seemed to radiate through me. I think its because I am at a point in my life where I am going through so many things and sometimes I think "God can u hear me? Are you there? Can you help me?" Every single word of this song was what I had been feeling. Then I listened to the chorus and it reminded me how big God is, sometimes I focus on how big I think my problem is but I forget just how big my God is. 

 You're the one who conquers giants
 You're the one who calls out kings
 You shut the mouths of lions
 You tell the dead to breathe
 You're the one who walks through fire
 You take the orphan's hand
 You are the one Messiah
 You are I am
 You are I am

I think back to all the situations in the bible where God did these amazing things that no one thought was possible and He did them because He can. I guess creating a universe and everything in it just wasn't enough for us, we needed more. During these times where I feel helpless and I feel like I can't handle these situations I need to remember I can't! But He can! I need to give it all to Him and remember that I feel overwhelmed because I am trying to conquer it all, I am trying to do His job. I think God can't hear me or can't reach me but I am limiting God! He even knew at that moment that I was thinking about all the stuff going on and questioning Him and thinking "God? You got this?" 

Everything I write on this blog is to help me sort through things that I am struggling with but I hope it helps you to. I pray that I can be an encouragement to people going through similar things. God is showing me so much through this journey and I am honored to share it. Listen to this song and remember how Big YOUR God is and all the great things He has done. He can handle any problem, any situation. Stop trying to fight the fight alone. Meditate on the words from the song, they sure did help me feel better tonight. Now look at your problem or situation, Can He handle that? I think so!

                                                                   "You Are I Am"
I've been the one to shake with fear
And wonder if You're even here
I've been the one to doubt Your love
I've told myself You're not enough

I've been the one to try and say
I'll overcome by my own strength
I've been the one to fall apart
And to start to question who You are

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

I've been the one held down in chains
Beneath the weight of all my shame
I've been the one to believe
That where I am You cannot reach

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

The veil is torn
And now I live with the Spirit inside
The same one, the very same one
who brought the Son back to life

Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am



Monday, November 19, 2012

Thankfulness....



As thanksgiving approaches we all are reminded to be thankful for all we have. We take the time to stop and remember all that the Lord has blessed us with. We tend to look at the glass half full rather than half empty. Today in church we talked about what it means to be truly thankful the way that they are talking about in Ephesians. Eph 5:20~ giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  My pastor made a good point, this verse says give thanks ALWAYS and for EVERYTHING. Not just for our homes, our kids, the food on our tables, but for all the struggles, trials, and daily things we go through that sometimes just don’t seem fair to us. How many of us can say we are thankful to God for everything? Do we tend to use God as a genie in a bottle the rest of the year and when thanksgiving rolls around is that when we find ourselves thanking God? “giving thanks always and for everything to God the father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Eph 5:20). Always is another important word in that verse, not just around thanksgiving should we be praising God but daily.  As soon as we open our eyes in the morning until we are snuggled up in our cozy beds.  

It has been a rough couple of weeks in my house, loss of a job, some changes with my children, etc. I realized today when I was getting my list of things that I am thankful for ready that I had forgotten to praise God for the trials and struggles I have been going through. Can you imagine if God just gave us whatever we wanted? What would your life look like? If God had given me what I wanted a few months ago I would have been in a very different place than I am now. I also realized that when I do go through these trials I learn to cling to Him rather than rely on my own strength. Its all worth it in the end, every tear shed, every heartache if it brings me closer to God. You see when we go through these difficult times its because we need to learn something, God is refining us and shaping us into the women that He wants us to be. God sees the entire picture and has a better plan for us than we could ever imagine. Lets rejoice in the ups and downs knowing that He is working on His masterpiece.

Heavenly father I thank you for your grace and mercy, thank you that you love us enough to not always give us what we want. Thank you for the fire we are walking through at the moment because we know that’s how you refine us. Thank you that when we pray give us this day our daily bread you do, thank you that your love covers it all.  Search our hearts and show us those things we need to surrender to be closer to you. Most of all thank you for our savior Jesus, for without Him we have no hope. Amen.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I trust in Him... or do I?

Trust- Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Trust is a funny thing but then again so is "faith". I recently lost my main source of income, if you have read my bio you know that I am a single mother of three boys. Since my divorce I have always worked two or sometimes three jobs to make sure that my boys have all they need and a stable home. Now I am left with one part time job and the uncertainty of how I am going to make ends meet. Initially I freaked out, I am not going to lie, I spent a few days having a small pity party for myself. Then I realized that I needed to have some quiet time just to cry out to God, so during nap time I went into my room all alone and literally cried, probably actually sobbed for about an hour. I prayed and begged God to help me in some way, give me direction, answers, anything to get me through. I almost was at the point where I was demanding that God come down here himself and tell me what he expected me to do. 

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ~ Matt 6:26

After I got control of my crazy emotions I remembered this verse.... then I repented, Who am I to question God or why He does the things that He does. Either God is a God that keeps his promises or He is a liar. Well I know God isn't a liar and I know that He has always kept His promises before. So why is this time any different? Truth is its not. Just because I lost my job and life is changing for the moment doesn't mean that God changed and that he doesn't keep His promises all of a sudden. Matthew 6:26 is a promise. A promise that God will take care of me and my boys because he takes care of the birds, are we not more important than birds? Then He showed me the root (that silly root thing again) I don't trust God, I don't have faith that He will provide and bring me through this trial, just like He has always done. Wow thats a lot to take in when you live your life thinking you trust God to feed you and clothe you but reality your trust is in yourself and the money you make. Don't get me wrong you can't sit at home on the sofa expecting God to drop money into your lap. We have to work but does god not provide the jobs? Doesn't He take care of us even when things seem hopeless? Over the past few days someone has dropped off an entire box of food for my family to fill our cabinets with and someone else just gave me a freezer full of meat. Now was that not the Lord saying "Jenny I love you so much, Let me show you how I can provide through others for the time". I almost was filled with too much pride that I didn't want to take it and I thought No I can figure this out. We have to be humble enough to receive because its the Lords way of providing sometimes through others.

God came through just like He always has over the years. I don't have a job just yet but I do have food for a few weeks and a new faith in Him. He cares about me so much that He would put it in those peoples hearts to minister to me in my time of need. Wow what a great God we serve. Every time I struggle I fall to my knees and cry out to Him and I always come out the other side more in love with God than ever before.
Things don't always turn out perfect or even the way I could have imagined but my faith is strengthened each time and I am always cared for.

Heavenly Father thank you so much for your faithfulness, thank you that you are a God who loves and cares for our every need. Thank you that even in times of doubt I can come to you and confess that and you give me peace and assurance. Help us to lean on you more and give all our stuff over to you Lord when its to much to bear alone. Thank you for being our father, provider, comforter, whatever we need. In Jesus name, Amen.