a thought on dating.....

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

"Unequally yoked" we have all heard that before, either from our pastors, parents, friends, etc. Mostly in regards to dating. What does that mean to be unequally yoked? Paul teaches that its not right to enter into a spiritual enterprise with those who are not of the same nature... or unbelievers.. The "spiritual enterprise" I want to talk about tonight is dating. Why do we do it? why do we know this command but we choose to disobey? I am going to talk about my situation and hopefully some of you can relate. I started dating someone that I was "unequally yoked" with because I was attracted to him and he was a wonderful fun guy. We had that instant connection, we laughed and joked, I felt like this was someone that I could be me around. At the beginning I cared that he wasn't a christian and he assured me that he did believe in God and would come to church with me. I was like okay this is awesome! The more we dated the more I felt uneasy but I was able to push those feelings under the rug. I did absolutely love this guy and had a connection with him but I felt like I was in a constant battle between flesh and spirit, a battle between what I wanted and what I knew God wanted. Little things would come up and I thought that I was a strong enough christian to stand firm and not waiver but no such luck. 1 Corinthians 15:33~ Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals".  Truth is I put myself in a situation that I was almost doomed to fail. I started a relationship and made a connection with someone who I knew deep down couldn't work. I mean in theory we could have worked I guess, we loved each other and if we got married there would have been great times, but I would never know the closeness and intimacy in the marriage the way god intended it to be. If God is the center of my life but not the center of his how does that work. If I make decisions based on Gods word and he makes decisions based on how the "world" views things we would have some rough times ahead. I would be left feeling empty, longing to know what it feels like to have a true godly marriage. One where we look to Him for answers and we get on our knees when times are good or bad. Christ is the glue that would bind us, forever! Yes marriage should be forever no matter what, although its not always like that.
I guess what I am getting at here is that sometimes people think that maybe somethings in the bible aren't as important as others but truth is God gives us this outline to save us. Protect us from suffering and pain, hurting each other and ourselves. When God says "Don't be bound with unbelievers" its because he loves us so much and wants us to experience things the way He designed them to be. Centered around Him not what we want or think is best at the time. The consequence for me for being disobedient in this area is that I have a connection with someone that I shouldn't. So does he, we have went through unnecessary pain and hurt that all could have been avoided with obedience! It came to choosing between what my heart wanted or thought it wanted and what my soul wanted and longed for.

Sweet girls, god has a plan for us and the man for us that he created just for us! Someone who loves Him just as much as we do. Reading song of Solomon excites and encourages me, in chapter 3 it talks about finding "the one my soul loves and holding onto him and not letting go". In chapter 4 reading about Solomon love for his bride is amazing, it touches my heart. When we stay in Gods will for our lives and do things His way the results are like nothing we can imagine. I am not by any means promising a wonderful perfect marriage if we marry christian men but having the same "handbook" for marriage and the same love for the Lord you can surely conquer the world and go through times that make people sit back and say "hey, there is something different there" We can bring more glory and honor to God and isn't that what this life is about?

Heavenly father thank you so much for the institution of marriage, thank you for your word, thank you that whenever we are confused on life or what choice to make we can kneel before you and confess that and go to your word to find an outline for our lives. Help us Lord to end anything that is a hindrance to us spiritually and draw us close to you. If we are searching Lord show us a picture of what you want for us, give us peace and assurance that you will provide. Thank you God for your grace and mercy and your unconditional love. In Jesus name.. Amen...

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away... Job

I opened my bible in a weird way today, just sat down at the computer and literally turned open my bible to the first page of Job. I had no idea what I was going to write about today, but then I began to read and really study Job. Here was this guy who the bible says was blameless and upright, fearing God and turning from evil. I mean he wasn't perfect or without sin but he was a man of integrity. Job was faithful and lived a constant God honoring life in every area. Job was wealthy in that he had everything he could want or need. He had a beautiful wife, livestock, servants, sons and daughters. We know that the Lord saw how faithful Job was and that's why he allowed Satan to tempt him. Satan told God that sure its easy to have this man praise you when you bless the work of his hands. He has it all of course he loves you. So all in one day, within a matter of minutes Job found out that he had lost it all. He lost his livestock, servants, sons and daughters! I know it was within minutes because the bible says that before each messenger was done delivering the bad news the next messenger had come. The very first thing that Job did was fall down on his knees and worship the Lord saying "The Lord gave and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord".

Jobs first priority in his life was his God and honoring and serving him. God really blessed him. Even when the Lord took away everything that was important to Job he still knew that God was his main purpose. His wife even asked him after Satan attacked his health if he was still a man of integrity and faith. Job responded by saying should we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity. Job's health was attacked. He suffered from everything from boils from head to toe, hallucinations, decaying skin, teeth falling out, raging fevers, and dramatic weight loss.

In chapter 40 God questions Job to humble him and basically says that if he knew what was best for him than he should take over being God. In verses 8-14 God shows Job just how powerful he is and when I read it, it reminds me too.

How many of us can handle the trials and tribulations without cursing God? We often wonder why have u done this to me, have I not been faithful, have i done something wrong? When we go through these things we need to remember Job and his example, we need to get down on our knees and praise God for who He is. We need to say "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord". We need to reminder that this life is a gift and everything we are given is a blessing. That we were not put here to have all these things but we are here to grow the kingdom and serve the Lord. We are so undeserving but sometimes we walk around like the Lord is a genie in a bottle. That he owes us something, when the truth is we didn't even deserve salvation. Lets praise God through all the good times and the bad times. When we struggle God is refining us into the women we need to be. What a testimony we can be as well when we live out this faith we have. Like Job said should we accept good from God but not adversity?

Thank you Lord for all the blessings in our life, thank you for all the trials. Help us to remember that everything we have is a gift from you. That we can't take our next breath without you. Lord help us to think of Job when we are going through these things and how we can preserve with our eyes focused on you and the purpose of this life. Search us Lord and show us anything that needs to be "refined". Help us to prayerfully consider our life and any changes that we need to make in it. Thank you Lord for your sacrifice, in Jesus name.. Amen..

Perfection

So the last few days the Lord has really been working on me with my children and how I parent them. The conclusion that I come to when I look back over the past few months is that I have tried so hard to keep up a certain image and retain some sort of control and order in my house since my divorce that I have neglected the simple things. I have almost required this perfect standard that is impossible for my children to achieve. They try so hard but fail daily. There have been a few examples that I would like to share.....

Last week my oldest child brought home a test where he had gotten all the answers correct except one. Now that's great your thinking, well my first reaction was ever since the first day of school he has been bringing home perfect papers and perfect tests what happened. I immediately wanted to jump all over him and ask why and how. Then the spirit stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that my son needs praise and to be reminded that even when he doesn't live up to my crazy standards that I love him just the same. Plus gals I know I'm crazy I can't expect perfection from anyone, if I do I will always be let down! Then my middle son for some reason is not very affectionate. I am so concerned with making sure that he is obedient that I neglect to love on him as much as he needs. I forget to spend time cuddling with him and saying I love you, I am too busy telling him all the things he needs to remember to do and correcting him. I noticed it last week when I was trying to get him to hug his brother after an altercation. He could barely hug him let alone utter out the words "I love you". I wondered how many times a day does he hear that from me?

My point here is that I am way to concerned with the outward and not the heart. Its pretty obvious too that I want some sort of praise for having my stuff together when the truth is life is hard! I am a single mom with three boys under the age of 6. I put this standard on myself also that I have to have a perfect house and perfect kids and not let anyone see that I am struggling. Why not, Whats the harm if people see that I can't do it all. What a powerful testimony that would be if I showed more often how I struggle and how in all reality if I didn't have god I couldn't make it through a day! Lets turn the eyes of the world to God and off of us.

Now I am taking time to love my children and allow them the room to fail and receive grace and unconditional love. I am allowing myself to not meet my own unattainable standards and its so freeing. When my kids are adults are they going to remember a perfectly clean home and that everyone thought they were perfect children, or will they remember how much I loved them unconditionally and provided encouragement and a safe place to come where they don't feel judged. I know the answer and I am so thankful that the Lord brought this to my attention before it was to late! I saw a quote once that said mothers know that the days are long but the years go by way to fast... so so true!

Heavenly father thank you for our blessings, thank you for the hard times and the "easy times". Help us as mothers to show unconditional love to our children and point them to you and remind them that while we fail at always loving them correctly you don't. Help us to remember to show grace in times where we might want to react and help us to think about the real reason we are disappointed in our children. Thank you Lord for your love and grace and mercy, In Jesus name, Amen!