Thursday, May 29, 2014

pleading my case

So I was doing my hair today and my son came to me and asked me if he could do something. I said no and he said "mom, please!" and began to make promises that we both knew he couldn't keep. I promise I'll be safe, I promise I won't get hurt, please just let me do it! He was trying to assure me that he knew best, he knew better than me! His mom, who carried him and created him, with the help of my ex husband and God of course! Now we know pretty much about our children, after all we are the ones who love them most on this earth and we spend the most time with them and invest in them. I know (for the most part) whats good for my children and what could potentially harm them. Some battles are lost or not worth fighting. For example my 6 year old loves to run around outside without shoes, our backyard is safe but there is always a chance that he could step on a bee or stub his toe. After hours of convincing him its a better idea to wear shoes, i decided to let him go and he would deal with the consequences. Not even 10 minutes later he came inside crying and his toe was bleeding. He banged it on the porch. Nothing some water and a band aid couldn't fix. Through the tears he said I should have listened to you. I said well I tried to tell you but you needed to figure this out on your own. Next time wears shoes okay!

 I started thinking how at times I can be like that with God. How if I want something I go to him even when I have a feeling that its probably not the best idea and I almost plead my case, begging Him and making promises that i really can't keep. Like God i want to date this guy who is not a christian, I promise I will always be a good example or I promise that it wont effect me. Maybe its I want this job God and i promise it wont get in the way of my relationship with you or my family life. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knitted us together in our mothers womb, knows every hair on our heads. When he gives us something or sometimes doesn't, I believe that its for our good. I also do believe just like with my son, there are times where we need to go through trials to realize that its not good for us. No amount of me telling my son that shoes are necessary was going to do it, he had to go out there and stub his toe to realize "hey mom was right, I need shoes". Are there things in your life that you aren't surrendering to God? Whatever the reason may be, we need to realize that God, our creator knows us and loves us so much and wants to protect us from unnecessary hurt and pain. Either way god will use your situation. He will use it to grow you and to refine you.

I'm so thankful that even when I make mistakes that God is there with open arms ready to embrace me when I fall and get hurt, still loves me even when I mess up. Just like we are there for our children. Can u trust that He knows best? Can you give that situation your struggling with over to Him? Reach out to him in prayer and He is always there....

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Are you beautiful?

I was out to dinner the other day and someone was telling me a story about how he held the door open for this girl at the gas station and she didn't say thank you. He went on to say that he doesn't mind holding the door for a "hot" girl but this girl was ugly and you can't be ugly and nasty at the same time. "Ugly girls that are nasty serve no purpose" I looked him straight in the eyes and said "who decides the standard of beauty?" I began to think about this for the next few days about the difference between pretty and ugly. What makes a girl pretty? what makes her ugly? What does society say about beauty? 
I know I struggle with beauty and the thought that I must compete with supermodels that I see on TV. I can change lots of things about me to fit the standard of beauty. I can dye my hair, change my body through exercise and even surgery, spend all my money on the latest clothes, get my teeth fixed, go tanning and on and on. But then what? When does it end? When will I be beautiful? 
Now you want to spend hours at the gym and whiten your teeth and even blow your money on the hottest trends that is your choice. I think it is very important to live a healthy life for multiple reasons. We need to be active and healthy so that we can more effectively share the gospel as well as be an example to our children. But sometimes us women can get so caught up in outer beauty that we neglect to see our value and worth through Gods eyes. When we see these women on television that we look nothing like, who have been so airbrushed they are almost beyond recognition, a lot of us have a bit of a struggle. Its easy to be discouraged when your standard is ever changing like the worlds, one day super skinny is in, then nope gain a few pounds. Then brunettes are sexy, but wait blondes have more fun! In parenting the boys I try hard to teach them to see beauty the way that God sees it. That the most beautiful thing in a girl is her spirit and her love for the Lord, that a heart after Jesus is far better than a girl who is just "hot". I've said it before ladies, looks fade and gravity always wins! Pour your energy into your relationship with the Lord and focus on being the woman of God that you were meant to be. The right man will find you if you are still single and if you are married you will be even more beautiful to your husband. I heard a quote the other day that says "If you use carnal means to get a man, you will need to use carnal means to keep him". Don't be so concerned with trying to be hot or sexy to get someone or even keep them. Remember your worth and value in Christ and how beautiful you are to Him. 
Proverbs 31:30- Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:25- She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 

So next time you want to know how to become more beautiful or attractive to the opposite sex put down the vogue or cosmo magazine and pick up your bible and search the scriptures, our standard should be Gods standard. Next time your feeling "ugly" or unattractive or unloved go to God and ask Him to help you see yourself through His eyes. Remember you are worth dying for!


Thursday, May 15, 2014

Loveology

So a few weeks ago I started a study in my home based on the book Loveology by: John Mark Comer. Let me just say wow, tonight we are wrapping up the 5 week study and honestly I am sad that it is over. I personally have learned so much about love and marriage, romance and singleness from this study. I know the girls have benefited from it as well. Each week John Mark focuses on a different subject and we dive into Gods word to see what the bible says about these important topics. Its been an awesome journey looking back at our past choices and really looking at biblical examples of how to date and what marriage looks like. I think this book makes for a great ladies study or even a small group study with a few married couples. We have a good mixture in our group of married, engaged and single and its safe to say that everyone has benefited from this book.

I think my favorite topic was sex.... In all honesty its a tough subject not just because it can be uncomfortable but really and truly sometimes we like to do what we want to do and we don't want to hear that its wrong or that we need to stop doing something we enjoy. It was interesting how the author pointed out that sex was really created for our enjoyment... within the context of marriage. I never really understood why sex before marriage was wrong besides the obvious things that could go along with unprotected sex. I new it was wrong but it didn't really click for me. I just was like well God says we cant and the church frowns upon it so its just a no no. Obviously like any other thing in our lives we still like to "break the rules" or test the boundaries if you know what I mean. Going through this study and really getting into Gods word is when I began to see that God was trying to protect me from something. He wasn't saying no sex before marriage cause i'm trying to keep you from having fun but he was saying "Hey I love you and I want the best for you". Sex is a very powerful thing.. Having sex with someone is one of the most intimate things that you can experience with another person. John Mark says in his book that having sex with someone is "to know" them and to "be known" you get to know someone inside and out. That bond that you create with that person is irreversible and permanent. Society tells us that sex is just sex and you can have meaningless emotionless sex with anyone you want and if you take the right precautions there wont be any consequences. That is just another lie we are taught to believe. The truth is that every time you make love to someone you give a piece of yourself away, a piece you can't get back no matter how desperately you try. Sex makes lust look like love... Sex makes relationships that should have ended long ago hold on and they usually end in painful breakups or horrible divorces.
Sex it self isn't bad, its actually very good. God created sex for us to enjoy, its a gift. Its a way to bring us back together to our spouse and re-fuse us as one. We were sexual before we were sinful as John Mark says in his book. Our sexual desires for another are a completely natural God given thing. But marriage is the only relationship that is strong enough to hold the power that sex has.
If we look back through our past can we see the effects of not listening to Gods instruction on this? I certainly can.... I can see how relationships lasted longer and my judgement was clouded because of this very thing. Can you look back and see the damage that was caused in your life for something that society says is "no big deal"? Sex-a gift meant to be shared between a husband a wife, a selfless act, an act of worship turns into something completely different.... broken hearts, abusive relationships, pornography, sexual addictions, abortions, STDs, all these things that are all about us and definitely not about God. Listen the point is this, I love my 3 boys and i would do anything to protect them, sparklers are fun right? Well I am certainly not going to give my boys matches and a box of sparklers and tell them to go have fun. Of course not! Sparklers in the right context are fun, under my supervision so I can make sure that they don't get hurt or hurt someone else. Sex is fun (you know its the truth!) But it is very dangerous outside its original purpose or plan. God loves us enough to try to protect us from hurt. Remember God created Sex right and we all agreed that sex is fun... Ummm thank you God for making something fun for us to enjoy! What an awesome God!

The good news is that its never to late, if your married, go have sex with your spouse!! Go have the fun that God intended! If your having sex and your not married, whether your single or even engaged. Wait, have patience, ask God to help you to obey him in this area, its difficult i know but He can help you. If your dealing with the consequences of choices that you made and your feeling broken Jesus can make you whole, you can have a fresh start with Him. He can heal any hurt, any bad decision. If you still don't see a problem with sex outside of marriage I suggest reading this book and taking a look at song of solomon and even genesis. Pray and ask God to help you see, I did and he completely changed my outlook on it and for that I am so grateful!
Happy Thursday!!