Mercy Me......

Tonight I was washing the dishes while the children were sleeping and listening to pandora. I have it set to christian contemporary music. I heard this song by mercy me called you are I am. I have heard it a thousand times but tonight the words seemed to radiate through me. I think its because I am at a point in my life where I am going through so many things and sometimes I think "God can u hear me? Are you there? Can you help me?" Every single word of this song was what I had been feeling. Then I listened to the chorus and it reminded me how big God is, sometimes I focus on how big I think my problem is but I forget just how big my God is. 

 You're the one who conquers giants

 You're the one who calls out kings

 You shut the mouths of lions

 You tell the dead to breathe

 You're the one who walks through fire

 You take the orphan's hand

 You are the one Messiah

 You are I am

 You are I am

I think back to all the situations in the bible where God did these amazing things that no one thought was possible and He did them because He can. I guess creating a universe and everything in it just wasn't enough for us, we needed more. During these times where I feel helpless and I feel like I can't handle these situations I need to remember I can't! But He can! I need to give it all to Him and remember that I feel overwhelmed because I am trying to conquer it all, I am trying to do His job. I think God can't hear me or can't reach me but I am limiting God! He even knew at that moment that I was thinking about all the stuff going on and questioning Him and thinking "God? You got this?" 

Everything I write on this blog is to help me sort through things that I am struggling with but I hope it helps you to. I pray that I can be an encouragement to people going through similar things. God is showing me so much through this journey and I am honored to share it. Listen to this song and remember how Big YOUR God is and all the great things He has done. He can handle any problem, any situation. Stop trying to fight the fight alone. Meditate on the words from the song, they sure did help me feel better tonight. Now look at your problem or situation, Can He handle that? I think so!

                                                                   "You Are I Am"

I've been the one to shake with fear
And wonder if You're even here
I've been the one to doubt Your love
I've told myself You're not enough

I've been the one to try and say
I'll overcome by my own strength
I've been the one to fall apart
And to start to question who You are

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

I've been the one held down in chains
Beneath the weight of all my shame
I've been the one to believe
That where I am You cannot reach

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

The veil is torn
And now I live with the Spirit inside
The same one, the very same one
who brought the Son back to life

Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me
Hallelujah, He lives in me

You're the one who conquers giants
You're the one who calls out kings
You shut the mouths of lions
You tell the dead to breathe
You're the one who walks through fire
You take the orphan's hand
You are the one Messiah
You are I am
You are I am

Thankfulness....

As thanksgiving approaches we all are reminded to be thankful for all we have. We take the time to stop and remember all that the Lord has blessed us with. We tend to look at the glass half full rather than half empty. Today in church we talked about what it means to be truly thankful the way that they are talking about in Ephesians. Eph 5:20~ giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  My pastor made a good point, this verse says give thanks ALWAYS and for EVERYTHING. Not just for our homes, our kids, the food on our tables, but for all the struggles, trials, and daily things we go through that sometimes just don’t seem fair to us. How many of us can say we are thankful to God for everything? Do we tend to use God as a genie in a bottle the rest of the year and when thanksgiving rolls around is that when we find ourselves thanking God? “giving thanks always and for everything to God the father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Eph 5:20). Always is another important word in that verse, not just around thanksgiving should we be praising God but daily.  As soon as we open our eyes in the morning until we are snuggled up in our cozy beds.  

It has been a rough couple of weeks in my house, loss of a job, some changes with my children, etc. I realized today when I was getting my list of things that I am thankful for ready that I had forgotten to praise God for the trials and struggles I have been going through. Can you imagine if God just gave us whatever we wanted? What would your life look like? If God had given me what I wanted a few months ago I would have been in a very different place than I am now. I also realized that when I do go through these trials I learn to cling to Him rather than rely on my own strength. Its all worth it in the end, every tear shed, every heartache if it brings me closer to God. You see when we go through these difficult times its because we need to learn something, God is refining us and shaping us into the women that He wants us to be. God sees the entire picture and has a better plan for us than we could ever imagine. Lets rejoice in the ups and downs knowing that He is working on His masterpiece.

Heavenly father I thank you for your grace and mercy, thank you that you love us enough to not always give us what we want. Thank you for the fire we are walking through at the moment because we know that’s how you refine us. Thank you that when we pray give us this day our daily bread you do, thank you that your love covers it all.  Search our hearts and show us those things we need to surrender to be closer to you. Most of all thank you for our savior Jesus, for without Him we have no hope. Amen.

I trust in Him... or do I?

Trust- Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Trust is a funny thing but then again so is "faith". I recently lost my main source of income, if you have read my bio you know that I am a single mother of three boys. Since my divorce I have always worked two or sometimes three jobs to make sure that my boys have all they need and a stable home. Now I am left with one part time job and the uncertainty of how I am going to make ends meet. Initially I freaked out, I am not going to lie, I spent a few days having a small pity party for myself. Then I realized that I needed to have some quiet time just to cry out to God, so during nap time I went into my room all alone and literally cried, probably actually sobbed for about an hour. I prayed and begged God to help me in some way, give me direction, answers, anything to get me through. I almost was at the point where I was demanding that God come down here himself and tell me what he expected me to do. 

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ~ Matt 6:26

After I got control of my crazy emotions I remembered this verse.... then I repented, Who am I to question God or why He does the things that He does. Either God is a God that keeps his promises or He is a liar. Well I know God isn't a liar and I know that He has always kept His promises before. So why is this time any different? Truth is its not. Just because I lost my job and life is changing for the moment doesn't mean that God changed and that he doesn't keep His promises all of a sudden. Matthew 6:26 is a promise. A promise that God will take care of me and my boys because he takes care of the birds, are we not more important than birds? Then He showed me the root (that silly root thing again) I don't trust God, I don't have faith that He will provide and bring me through this trial, just like He has always done. Wow thats a lot to take in when you live your life thinking you trust God to feed you and clothe you but reality your trust is in yourself and the money you make. Don't get me wrong you can't sit at home on the sofa expecting God to drop money into your lap. We have to work but does god not provide the jobs? Doesn't He take care of us even when things seem hopeless? Over the past few days someone has dropped off an entire box of food for my family to fill our cabinets with and someone else just gave me a freezer full of meat. Now was that not the Lord saying "Jenny I love you so much, Let me show you how I can provide through others for the time". I almost was filled with too much pride that I didn't want to take it and I thought No I can figure this out. We have to be humble enough to receive because its the Lords way of providing sometimes through others.

God came through just like He always has over the years. I don't have a job just yet but I do have food for a few weeks and a new faith in Him. He cares about me so much that He would put it in those peoples hearts to minister to me in my time of need. Wow what a great God we serve. Every time I struggle I fall to my knees and cry out to Him and I always come out the other side more in love with God than ever before.
Things don't always turn out perfect or even the way I could have imagined but my faith is strengthened each time and I am always cared for.

Heavenly Father thank you so much for your faithfulness, thank you that you are a God who loves and cares for our every need. Thank you that even in times of doubt I can come to you and confess that and you give me peace and assurance. Help us to lean on you more and give all our stuff over to you Lord when its to much to bear alone. Thank you for being our father, provider, comforter, whatever we need. In Jesus name, Amen.

a thought on dating.....

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

"Unequally yoked" we have all heard that before, either from our pastors, parents, friends, etc. Mostly in regards to dating. What does that mean to be unequally yoked? Paul teaches that its not right to enter into a spiritual enterprise with those who are not of the same nature... or unbelievers.. The "spiritual enterprise" I want to talk about tonight is dating. Why do we do it? why do we know this command but we choose to disobey? I am going to talk about my situation and hopefully some of you can relate. I started dating someone that I was "unequally yoked" with because I was attracted to him and he was a wonderful fun guy. We had that instant connection, we laughed and joked, I felt like this was someone that I could be me around. At the beginning I cared that he wasn't a christian and he assured me that he did believe in God and would come to church with me. I was like okay this is awesome! The more we dated the more I felt uneasy but I was able to push those feelings under the rug. I did absolutely love this guy and had a connection with him but I felt like I was in a constant battle between flesh and spirit, a battle between what I wanted and what I knew God wanted. Little things would come up and I thought that I was a strong enough christian to stand firm and not waiver but no such luck. 1 Corinthians 15:33~ Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals".  Truth is I put myself in a situation that I was almost doomed to fail. I started a relationship and made a connection with someone who I knew deep down couldn't work. I mean in theory we could have worked I guess, we loved each other and if we got married there would have been great times, but I would never know the closeness and intimacy in the marriage the way god intended it to be. If God is the center of my life but not the center of his how does that work. If I make decisions based on Gods word and he makes decisions based on how the "world" views things we would have some rough times ahead. I would be left feeling empty, longing to know what it feels like to have a true godly marriage. One where we look to Him for answers and we get on our knees when times are good or bad. Christ is the glue that would bind us, forever! Yes marriage should be forever no matter what, although its not always like that.
I guess what I am getting at here is that sometimes people think that maybe somethings in the bible aren't as important as others but truth is God gives us this outline to save us. Protect us from suffering and pain, hurting each other and ourselves. When God says "Don't be bound with unbelievers" its because he loves us so much and wants us to experience things the way He designed them to be. Centered around Him not what we want or think is best at the time. The consequence for me for being disobedient in this area is that I have a connection with someone that I shouldn't. So does he, we have went through unnecessary pain and hurt that all could have been avoided with obedience! It came to choosing between what my heart wanted or thought it wanted and what my soul wanted and longed for.

Sweet girls, god has a plan for us and the man for us that he created just for us! Someone who loves Him just as much as we do. Reading song of Solomon excites and encourages me, in chapter 3 it talks about finding "the one my soul loves and holding onto him and not letting go". In chapter 4 reading about Solomon love for his bride is amazing, it touches my heart. When we stay in Gods will for our lives and do things His way the results are like nothing we can imagine. I am not by any means promising a wonderful perfect marriage if we marry christian men but having the same "handbook" for marriage and the same love for the Lord you can surely conquer the world and go through times that make people sit back and say "hey, there is something different there" We can bring more glory and honor to God and isn't that what this life is about?

Heavenly father thank you so much for the institution of marriage, thank you for your word, thank you that whenever we are confused on life or what choice to make we can kneel before you and confess that and go to your word to find an outline for our lives. Help us Lord to end anything that is a hindrance to us spiritually and draw us close to you. If we are searching Lord show us a picture of what you want for us, give us peace and assurance that you will provide. Thank you God for your grace and mercy and your unconditional love. In Jesus name.. Amen...

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away... Job

I opened my bible in a weird way today, just sat down at the computer and literally turned open my bible to the first page of Job. I had no idea what I was going to write about today, but then I began to read and really study Job. Here was this guy who the bible says was blameless and upright, fearing God and turning from evil. I mean he wasn't perfect or without sin but he was a man of integrity. Job was faithful and lived a constant God honoring life in every area. Job was wealthy in that he had everything he could want or need. He had a beautiful wife, livestock, servants, sons and daughters. We know that the Lord saw how faithful Job was and that's why he allowed Satan to tempt him. Satan told God that sure its easy to have this man praise you when you bless the work of his hands. He has it all of course he loves you. So all in one day, within a matter of minutes Job found out that he had lost it all. He lost his livestock, servants, sons and daughters! I know it was within minutes because the bible says that before each messenger was done delivering the bad news the next messenger had come. The very first thing that Job did was fall down on his knees and worship the Lord saying "The Lord gave and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord".

Jobs first priority in his life was his God and honoring and serving him. God really blessed him. Even when the Lord took away everything that was important to Job he still knew that God was his main purpose. His wife even asked him after Satan attacked his health if he was still a man of integrity and faith. Job responded by saying should we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity. Job's health was attacked. He suffered from everything from boils from head to toe, hallucinations, decaying skin, teeth falling out, raging fevers, and dramatic weight loss.

In chapter 40 God questions Job to humble him and basically says that if he knew what was best for him than he should take over being God. In verses 8-14 God shows Job just how powerful he is and when I read it, it reminds me too.

How many of us can handle the trials and tribulations without cursing God? We often wonder why have u done this to me, have I not been faithful, have i done something wrong? When we go through these things we need to remember Job and his example, we need to get down on our knees and praise God for who He is. We need to say "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord". We need to reminder that this life is a gift and everything we are given is a blessing. That we were not put here to have all these things but we are here to grow the kingdom and serve the Lord. We are so undeserving but sometimes we walk around like the Lord is a genie in a bottle. That he owes us something, when the truth is we didn't even deserve salvation. Lets praise God through all the good times and the bad times. When we struggle God is refining us into the women we need to be. What a testimony we can be as well when we live out this faith we have. Like Job said should we accept good from God but not adversity?

Thank you Lord for all the blessings in our life, thank you for all the trials. Help us to remember that everything we have is a gift from you. That we can't take our next breath without you. Lord help us to think of Job when we are going through these things and how we can preserve with our eyes focused on you and the purpose of this life. Search us Lord and show us anything that needs to be "refined". Help us to prayerfully consider our life and any changes that we need to make in it. Thank you Lord for your sacrifice, in Jesus name.. Amen..

Perfection

So the last few days the Lord has really been working on me with my children and how I parent them. The conclusion that I come to when I look back over the past few months is that I have tried so hard to keep up a certain image and retain some sort of control and order in my house since my divorce that I have neglected the simple things. I have almost required this perfect standard that is impossible for my children to achieve. They try so hard but fail daily. There have been a few examples that I would like to share.....

Last week my oldest child brought home a test where he had gotten all the answers correct except one. Now that's great your thinking, well my first reaction was ever since the first day of school he has been bringing home perfect papers and perfect tests what happened. I immediately wanted to jump all over him and ask why and how. Then the spirit stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that my son needs praise and to be reminded that even when he doesn't live up to my crazy standards that I love him just the same. Plus gals I know I'm crazy I can't expect perfection from anyone, if I do I will always be let down! Then my middle son for some reason is not very affectionate. I am so concerned with making sure that he is obedient that I neglect to love on him as much as he needs. I forget to spend time cuddling with him and saying I love you, I am too busy telling him all the things he needs to remember to do and correcting him. I noticed it last week when I was trying to get him to hug his brother after an altercation. He could barely hug him let alone utter out the words "I love you". I wondered how many times a day does he hear that from me?

My point here is that I am way to concerned with the outward and not the heart. Its pretty obvious too that I want some sort of praise for having my stuff together when the truth is life is hard! I am a single mom with three boys under the age of 6. I put this standard on myself also that I have to have a perfect house and perfect kids and not let anyone see that I am struggling. Why not, Whats the harm if people see that I can't do it all. What a powerful testimony that would be if I showed more often how I struggle and how in all reality if I didn't have god I couldn't make it through a day! Lets turn the eyes of the world to God and off of us.

Now I am taking time to love my children and allow them the room to fail and receive grace and unconditional love. I am allowing myself to not meet my own unattainable standards and its so freeing. When my kids are adults are they going to remember a perfectly clean home and that everyone thought they were perfect children, or will they remember how much I loved them unconditionally and provided encouragement and a safe place to come where they don't feel judged. I know the answer and I am so thankful that the Lord brought this to my attention before it was to late! I saw a quote once that said mothers know that the days are long but the years go by way to fast... so so true!

Heavenly father thank you for our blessings, thank you for the hard times and the "easy times". Help us as mothers to show unconditional love to our children and point them to you and remind them that while we fail at always loving them correctly you don't. Help us to remember to show grace in times where we might want to react and help us to think about the real reason we are disappointed in our children. Thank you Lord for your love and grace and mercy, In Jesus name, Amen!

"free time"....

So its a sunday night and I'm sitting on the couch with my pumpkin spice latte and my cell phone looking on facebook wasting time. Its quiet in my house, my three little ones are asleep and all I can hear is the crackle from the fireplace. (electric but still counts!) All of a sudden God was like “hello! You have complete peace and quiet, can you spend some time with me!” Obviously this wasn't in an audiable voice but it sure felt like it. I'm constantly using the excuse that I don't have enough time to spend with God on a daily basis and here I am on a Sunday with total silence and I am wasting time on facebook! What am I thinking? Oh yeah about me! Certaintly not about Him, not my father, my creator, the one who loves me with a love stronger than anything I can imagine. For some reason I feel the need to stare at my phone for what seems like a few minutes but in reality is like an hour, all to see what this person did today and what that person ate for dinner! Lets not forget I'm just as bad! I post everytime I have a thought I feel the need to share or some saying and sometimes I will admit I post things to see how many “likes” I get. I should be using this life, this time I have here to be bringing glory to God. Praising the creator of the universe. What do I do? Use facebook as my own personal praise page, look at me, how wonderful I am, how special all the things I do are. Im not foolish, I understand that people don't give a stink about what I had for dinner or what I did today. But we look anyway, we post anyway. Don't get me wrong, facebook when used properly is an awesome tool to keep in touch with family and friends, post pictures and be updated on peoples lives. But I think it is pretty clear that we spend way to much time on the site, we are so busy cooking, cleaning, working, raising kids, and facebooking to spend time with the Lord. I am sure that god has grace and understands that we are busy mothers and wives and we talk to God all day while we are working but when we sit down and spend hours on the internet and playing these games over spending quality time with Him, I am sure that saddens Him. We were important enough for Him to sacrifice his son but He is not important enough to us to put away the phone or computer and grab our bible out and spend some quality time with our maker.

We can be so selfish sometimes and want things to be all about us. Facebook is just another thing that takes attention away from God and puts the spotlight back on us. Oh how some of us crave it. Think about how many “facebook friends” you have, what if we used our facebook page to praise God and tell of all the great and mighty things He has done instead of how wonderful or sometimes pitiful we are. Think about how many people we could reach! Thats such a cool thought, we have this amazing tool that if used in the right way could reach possibly millions!

This post started out about how I need to spend more free time with the Lord and ended with how I can better serve the Lord and share the gospel with facebook. Oh how the Lord works :)

Heavenly father thank you so much for the busy-ness of our days Lord, thank you for the free time, help us to want to spend that quality time with you, help us crave that first. Lord, Help us prioritize things in our lives so that you are the first thing we think of when we are bored or find ourselves with “free time”. Thank you for facebook, the awesome tool that it can be. We pray that you convict us of our selfishness with it if it exists within us. Help us to use the site to glorify you Lord, just like everything else in our lives. Thank you that you still seek us even when we turn away and are “too busy” for you. Lord help us to love you and crave you first, never being able to get enough of you! In Jesus' name. Amen!

Mirror Mirror.....

So today I started the morning the same way I have been for a few days now, I wake up to a text that its time to exercise. I have been working hard on my appearance, I have three boys and we all know how pregnancy changes our bodies. I have been investing time, money and energy into my appearance. I realized when I looked into the mirror today that even if I become content with myself physically and become beautiful on the outside that it might impress others and even make me feel good about myself but is that what god looks at? Does He care about our weight, height, hair color, how white our teeth are, what clothes we wear? I think he does to a certain point but that shouldn't be our main focus and goal in life. We know from 1Tim 2:9 he says  "Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works." does that mean that we can't look nice and feel good about ourselves? no but we definitely shouldn't spend more time and money investing in our outward appearance than our heart and relationship with Christ. My new favorite verse is "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4 and "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30....


External beauty is nice but fades away and all the makeup and exercise in the world doesn't stop time (or gravity) so today ladies lets focus on the internal and who we are in Christ. Look in the mirror and see yourself the way God sees you. As a beautiful wonderful creation made new in Christ! :)

Thank you Lord for your work in me, help me to see myself as the beautiful creation you made. Help me to focus on my heart and my relationship and love for you. And every time I feel ugly or not good enough help me to remember what you see and what you look at Lord, my heart. Convict me of the area's in my heart that are ugly Lord so I can have the right kind of makeover! Amen.

Have a wonderful day beautiful ladies!

Thankful Fridays....

Today is Friday, great time for thankful Fridays Today I find it more difficult to be thankful but I am sure that if I start thinking I will have an overflow of things to be thankful for....

My Children

My Savior

Grace and Mercy

Friends and Family

Peace and quiet

Financial stability

A great place to live

a car

two jobs

Thank you Lord for all you do and all you have given me, help me to be truly grateful for the one thing that no one can take away, salvation. Amen!

Happy Friday All, Have a great weekend.. 

Frustration....

I woke up today and thought what a wonderful day, you know that feeling when you wake up to a clean house and the kids sleep in a little and everything seems to be going wonderful.  Then the morning started out just like any other we did our morning routine and as I sat down to teach the children todays bible lesson I became frustrated. Today we talked about Jesus walking on water and how when Peter stepped out of the boat in faith he was able to do the impossible, but as soon as he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the world around him he started to sink. 

The kids were great during the lesson and we sang some songs but I still felt uneasy. When i took time to think about it I realized that I am frustrated with my life. The place I am in right now, and like I talked about before every thing has a root good or bad. Whats the root of this? Discontentment. Ugh great, blah no wonder I am unhappy. I am discontent. I keep waiting for something to make me happy, or a situation to change to change my attitude. But I need to remember that its not about my timing its about the Lords. He has me where I am for a reason and I need to rest in that. Sometimes I think God can't handle me, then I am like "oh yeah, He created the whole world but He can't handle me and my issues". 

I need to remember that God is in control, He can handle me when I am happy, angry, upset, sinful, discontent. When we start to feel discontent we have to refocus our eyes on Christ and what he has done for us and what He has promised us. Not a happy picture perfect life, but everlasting life if we are faithful and believe in Jesus. (John 14:6) 

Just like Peter if we take our eyes off of Jesus we can easily become distracted by the things around us. Find joy in Jesus and our new life, be content in where God has you now because He knows and sees the whole picture not just snapshots like we do. 

For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jerm 29:11

Happy Thursday Ladies!

Thankful Fridays....

Thanks to my wonderful aunt owner of inspirational air which can be found here...  http://maryannkudera.blogspot.com/

I am starting Thankful Fridays, instead of being overwhelmed by all that we feel is against us lets focus on what we have. See the cup half full. Lets look through the storm we are walking through and see the rainbow at the end! 

Today I am thankful for many things:

My savoir 

My children

Gods mercy and grace and continued love

My family

My faith

My friendships

And everything else the Lord provided from the roof over my head to the food on the table

thank you God for your many blessings in this life. Thank you for the breath that I have and the fact that without you I can't take another.

Take today to rejoice in all you have in Christ and thank Him! 

I love you!

Those three little words that everyone loves to hear, I really want to focus on love and what it actually is. When people say I love you what do they mean. Do they mean I am fond of you, do they mean i care for you, do they mean i'd give up my life just to make sure that you survive...

I think that the phrase I love you is carelessly thrown around to make others feel better, more secure, more important. But in all reality we love ourselves and i think we sometimes say it in order to receive it. Sometimes we feel so unloved that we are longing for anyone to show us "love" and give us affirmation.

I recently did a pole on fb to see what people thought the word love meant. I got a variety of answers... there were a few that i really liked....
I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me!


Love is an attachment that comes from deeply appreciating another's goodness. A bond that connects you into a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. Love is like a force of nature, you can't command love, demand love or make it disappear. Love can't be turned on as a reward or shut off as a punishment. You can not buy love! Love is patient, love us kind, it has no envy nor jealousy and should not be boastful!

Those were some really great answers. Now what does the bible say about love? How does God love us? How are we suppose to love others?

Well the first verse that probably comes to your mind is John 3:16: "For God so loved the world, that he gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everylasting life". Thats an amazing kind of love, I don't know anyone that would sacrifice a child to save someone, even if they love them. How about Romans 5:8: "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." That tells me that He loved us even when we were hating God, against God, rejecting God. Think about how hard it is to love someone who acts hateful to us.
Romans 8:37-39:  ^"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." I think thats its very clear that when the Lord says "I Love You". He means I love you! Here are two more verses that you can look up: gal 2:20 and 1John 3:1.  I think maybe that is why sometimes its hard to believe when God says " I love you" Because we are going by how the world uses the word. We have a hard time believing that He does because we have heard it so many times before. Just remember that this love that the Lord has for us is perfect unconditional love, we can't do anything to earn it and nothing "bad" we do breaks it. Its really important to remember that even when we let God down he loves us all the same, just like we still love our kids when they disobey. Our love for them isn't altered in anyway cause they misbehave. 


We are commanded to love each other. Even when its hard, or we feel like they don't deserve it. These are a few verses that I like about loving each other..
Romans 13:8
Gal: 5:12
Eph 4:2
1 peter 1:22
1 john 4:7
Proverbs 17:17

I have been very convicted lately about the way that I love others. I don't think I have it right. I say I love them sure, but am i doing what God says and loving them in deeds and not words? (1john 3:18) Am i loving people to my standards or am I trying to love them based on Gods? My measuring stick for my life needs to be the same stick that God uses. Not one that the world uses. Lets try to love others in the way that god intended and who knows we may even get it back. This bible verse that I am sure we have all heard many times is a great "measuring stick"...
 1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.


As for me I know this is an area that i struggle in. Its easy to say hey buddy love you or honey I love you or yes child I love you but do we? Next time we are about to say I love you to someone whether its a spouse, friend, neighbor, etc lets remember that it is a very important phrase and should hold great meaning. Lets go out there and love each other the way God has loved us, through trials and tribulations, disappointments, hurt feelings, anger, and frustration. Lets love others sacrificially! 

I wish..

Do you ever find yourself thinking I wish things were different, I wish this worked out, I wish I could be with that person, I wish, I wish...
Today is that day for me. Today is the day that I "wish" things were different, people were different, I was different. Someone who I love very much recently told me that I am too uptight and I made a thousand excuses as to why I am. But when I sat back and thought about it I realized that I am uptight because I am controlling, insecure and not able to trust people. I think when you break those things down you get sin. Yes being controlling is a sin, insecurity and the trust issues. Now it might not seem so on the surface but when you break it down to the root you find the real problem. You see every thing has a root, whether its good or bad.
Being controlling is sinful because when I sit back and think about the reasons I am controlling its because I need everything MY way, I sugar coat it and say that it works best this way, I say I'm a single mom so everything has to work just so. The real reason is selfishness. I'm selfish, I care only about the things I want and "need", how situations make ME feel. I also think I don't fully trust in the Lord, maybe I don't trust when He says "I love you", maybe I don't trust that he will supply my every need. So It comes down to do I believe the Lord and what He says in his word or am I calling God a liar! Well God is definitely not a liar. Everything He ever promised has been fulfilled. Out of the two of us I am the only one who has not been what I claim to be!

Insecurity is an interesting thing, we tell ourselves that we are secure and go to great lengths to prove it. But the truth is we are not. Woman have it tough, we have constant "competition" from the world around us. So we change how we act, how we dress, what we do, all to get validation from people that we are good enough. When in fact we are good enough, the creator of the world loves us, yes we are sinners, yes we are imperfect but yes He loves us! That should give us all the security we need! God has proven his love and we say oh that's not good enough God, give me something else! We drive our spouses, family, friends and "partners" crazy needing constant re assurance when in reality its not enough cause that's not what we actually need. We need the love of Christ cause that's the only thing that is constant and unchanging.We need to put our trust and security in the one that is always the same! The one who promises I will never leave you or forsake you!

Now Trust, that's a difficult thing, we have all been lied to, hurt, felt abandoned, etc. All I am going to say on this topic is that there is someone we can trust wholeheartedly, someone who never lets us down. Someone who takes every situation and uses it for his good. Lets trust in His love, His promises. People let us down just like we let them down. We are imperfect. If we were perfect there would be no need for a savior. Lets go out ladies and love each other like Christ commands, over looking each others shortcomings, lets try to have unconditional love like our savior has for us!

So next time we "wish" things were different lets rejoice in who we are in Christ. Lets be joyful for all He has given us from our children, to our homes, to our bff's, :) to being a new creation in Christ. For even if we had all of our hearts desires without Christ where would we be?  We would be damned and hopeless.

Hope this is encouraging for you ladies today, it sure is exactly what I needed to hear today! Have a happy Tuesday gals!

I need I need!

I have been thinking how needy I am lately. Totally exhausting my family and friends because I feel alone and insecure. People love me and say they don't mind that I call them and come over for visits but its only a temporary feeling of security. Now don't get me wrong we all need friend time as well as family time, but I think that more often than not we are looking for others to fill that void in our lives. There is nothing more I love than spending time with my best friend sipping on cherry coke and talking about our struggles and sharing our exciting moments. I came across this scripture today :

Isaiah 46:4 (NASV)

even to your old age I will be the same,
And even to your graying years I will bear you!

I have done it and I will carry you; 

And I will bear you and I will deliver you. 

Lately I have been really thinking about all the words in a bible verse so I can really understand what they mean. The word bear means to hold up/ to support, to hold or remain firm under, to hold up under/ be capable of. Wow when you think about that and what this scripture is saying its so amazing to think that the Lord wants us to know this. He makes a point in telling us that he will be the same throughout our whole life, He will carry us through every circumstance, even when we think we can't and that our strength isn't enough. God says I will bear you! I will deliver you! 

Every time we get those empty feelings or lonely or whatever we may be feeling. Remember this verse, call on your best friend who is always there and is never to busy for you. Who understands exactly how you feel in every situation, who loves you even when you feel unloved. Remember God has what you need and you'll NEVER wear him out!!

Have a blessed day ladies! 

Tame that Tongue

So my tongue has been unstoppable lately. As soon as I open my mouth hurtful things come pouring out. It's like a weapon slaying all those who come in contact with me. All because I am going through things and somewhere along the line I decided that I was no longer going to listen to the holy spirit. Before I was "saved" I had a major attitude and I walked around and said what I wanted when I wanted. I didn't care if it hurt your feelings, in my mind I thought well you can't handle the truth! I'm not mean, I'm just truthful! Well thankfully with much prayer the Lord changed my heart and my attitude and people started to say that I was loving and kind. Those were not words that people would use to describe me in the past. Well today I realized that this ugly trait that I hate in myself was coming back and I need to put an end to it now. I have a cabinet full of bible verses that encourage and uplift me. Every time i feel overwhelmed I go to my cabinet and look and Gods wonderful promises. Well right next to them I have a note card that has my favorite saying,

Before you speak ask yourself:

Is this Kind?

Is this True?

Does this need to be said?

If so.. continue.

If NOT stop!!

Now after the few weeks that I have been having I need to have this tattooed on my arm so its always there for me to look at. So looking from a more biblical view this verse came to my mind.. 

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.Matt 15:18 ESV

So looking up the word defiles to really understand this verse even more...
de·file 

tr.v. de·filed, de·fil·ing, de·files

1. To make filthy or dirty; pollute: defile a river with sewage.

2. To debase the pureness or excellence of; corrupt: a country landscape that was defiled by urban sprawl.

3. To profane or sully (a reputation, for example).

4. To make unclean or unfit for ceremonial use; desecrate: defile a temple.

5. To violate the chastity of.

This is very convicting for me, I have to be more aware of how I speak and the things that are coming out of my heart. So the real problem is not what I say but the condition of my heart. So the only way to change that is to pray and beg God to change it, spend more time in the word and more time with other believers who love the Lord. 

Proverbs 4:23"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

Jeremiah 17:9-10 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings."

Romans 10:9-10 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."

So those are just a few verses, there are many more and I think its very clear that when it comes down to it the Lord cares about our hearts. He cares about the condition of our hearts and what is coming out of them. We can all "act" like good christians and put on a great show but the Lord knows the condition of our hearts, there is no fooling Him. You can't trick the creator of the universe who knows our every thought, deepest desires and every hair on our heads... Lets be diligent dear ladies. Lets spend time with the one that should be the love of our lives and watch him transform our hearts! 

Have a happy sunday!

new blog, new journey

My life has changed dramatically so i decided its time for a new blog! My life went from married SAHM of three to a divorced, working two jobs, mother of three. Its almost always a challenge but definitely worth the work. I love my boys with all my heart and consider them a blessing even when there are days when I am so exhausted I can barely walk. I know that the Lord takes care of His children and even though I think I struggle when I look back through the last two years of my life He has always been there for me pulling me through. I have always had a roof over my head, always had clothes and shoes for my children and always food on the table. Even when I wasn't sure how it was going to get there, God provided it. Sometimes I get overwhelmed at the thought of tomorrow and what that will bring but I remember Gods promises. 

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt 6:34

I never really understood that verse until now. 

I hope through this blog I can be an encouragement to others as well as reminding myself whats true and whats important in life. Thanks for reading!