Dreaming....

Today I woke up with an overwhelming joy in my heart no doubt put there by the Lord. I am beyond thankful for everything that I have in my life. Its funny because from the worlds view I don’t have an ideal life, I am a single mother, divorced, I don’t have a successful career and I’m lucky to be making ends meet. When I look around I see so much more! I see the house that God has provided that my boys call home, I see 3 amazing, challenging boys who have a strong love for the Lord and have the word tucked in their hearts. They are difficult at times but would give the clothes on their back to anyone in need, they have an amazing heart to serve. I see a future that is so bright and has so much hope. God is doing amazing things and preparing me for awesome opportunities. I have always prayed “Lord use me and my experiences to glorify you” and I look around and I see all the people that he puts in my path, it is such an amazing thing when you feel completely fulfilled knowing you are right where you need to be.

I recieved a gift for my 30th birthday, it was the casting crowns CD thrive. There are so many amazing songs on there that touch my heart but there is one I was thinking about today. Its called “Dream for you”.  The song talks about david, how he had plans for his life and how God had even bigger plans. How Mary had a plan for her and her marriage but God had a plan for her to raise a king. The chorus goes

So come on, let Me dream, let Me dream for you

I am strong when your weak and I’ll carry you

So let go of your plan, be caught by my hand

I’ll show you what I can do

When I dream for you

I have a dream for you

I’m stronger than you think I am

I’ll take you farther than you think you can

You sing and call Me great I Am

So take your stand

My child, If you only knew

All the plans I have for you

Just trust me, I will follow through

You can follow me

Powerful words, Is my life where I would have planned? No way but I have so much joy knowing that He is in control. God has plans for me and I am so excited to see where He is taking me. “My child if you only knew, all the plans I have for you, TRUST me I will follow through, you can follow me”.  I am going to move when He says move and not be afraid to step out of my comfort zone. He has given me opportunites that I never could have imagined. I am currently doing things that in all honesty I never knew I could. God is showing me that when I let down my control and follow His lead I am so much more happy and fulfilled. God kept me “wandering” for a bit until I finally let go of everything and completely put it all in His hands. I can’t wait to share the news with all of you but for now just know that it wasn’t until I completely gave Him all that He started to open these doors for me!

Are you holding onto something or afraid to step out into something new? God has a plan for all of us, Jeremiah 29:11 “ For I know the plans l have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  Examine your heart and pray, call out to your father ask Him to show you where He wants you to be and then Go. I can’t promise you’ll be rich and famous and successful but I can promise you that you will have peace knowing your in Gods will and following the plan He has for you which is greater than any plan we could make up on our own.

Unfailing Love....

As a parent I have experienced an amazing unexplainable love for my son. This love is greater than any other love I have felt for anyone else; I would be willing to sacrifice it all for my son even my own life. I am sure this is how most parents feel about their children. This love helps me to understand how much Jesus really loves me. What amazes me the most, however, is that his love is even stronger than that! We couldn't fathom how much Jesus loves us! In the same way we can’t fully understand how much Jesus loves us; our children can’t fully understand how much we really love them. They love us because we take care of them and they have faith that we will provide because we have since birth. However, it usually takes until they are an adult having a child of their own to fully understand how deeply we really love them. I can’t help but compare the ways my son acts and treats me to the ways most of us Christians treat Jesus without even realizing it. This has been showing me how much of a child I still am in my faith. For instance, how do our children act when they don’t get what they want from us? I know my son does not enjoy it and at times has actually told me he didn’t like me because of it.  Let’s say Braden wants to watch a pg13 movie but I don’t allow him to watch it because I know the negative effects it could have on him. He doesn’t understand why I am saying no and even if I explain it to him he still seems to wonder how I can say I love him but not give him what he wants. It’s hard for him to trust me and that I know best. Are we not the same with God? How about when we pray we get to work on time and we still end up being late? Well thanks a lot God. What about when we pray something more serious like “Jesus, heal my loved one” and that person passes away or doesn’t seem to be getting any better?  It’s moments like these that we don’t understand why someone who says they love us isn’t giving us what we want. I’ve come to recognize however that I shouldn’t only love God when he is giving me what I want but love him even when he doesn’t seem to be answering my prayers and giving me my desires! I need to trust that he knows best. He is my father in heaven, the God of the universe, he knows all things. He knows the desires of my heart better than I do. I am acting like a child, immature in my faith, by only being content when I am getting my way instead of letting God have his way in my life. I am only looking out for my son’s best interest when I don’t allow him to get what he thinks is best and God sees the big picture and looks out for our best interest in the same way. I know that as my son grows up he will have to make his own choices in life and he may stumble and fall at times, making poor choices; but when he does I will be here for him to comfort him and help him. I have made many poor choices in my life and felt that I was not good enough to face God. I knew he would be there but still felt too ashamed. I didn’t fully understand his love for me and how great it really was. I once thought he had given up on me but now I understand that he is always there, just waiting for me to lean on him so he can comfort me and help me back on my feet. I am so grateful for a God who draws so near to me that I can feel his presence and love. Through my shame he displays his grace and wipes my slate clean. His love for me is beyond measure, greater then I could ever ask, think, or imagine!! Greater than the love I have for my own son! We can all experience this powerful love, no matter what we have been through or what we may have done. The truth is we are all sinners, none of us are really good enough for God, and we can only experience him by first admitting this and surrendering all of who we are completely to him! I pray that each one of us as believers would fully understand how deeply he loves us, know that his grace is sufficient, and give everything we are to him so we can mature in Christ and become all that he created us to be!

1 corinthians 2:9NLV- “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”

Ephesians 4:13NLV-This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.

Romans 8:38NLV-And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.39.No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

psalm 103:8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. 11. For his unfailing love towards those who fear him is as great as the heights of the heavens above the earth.

This post was written by a dear friend of mine, love her heart after God! Hope this post blesses you like it has me! Happy Wednesday Friends!

What turning 30 looks like for me....

I'm turning 30 in a few days and I have been super stressed lately over my life. I feel all this pressure from "the world" to have everything figured out and have this picture perfect life by 30. Like I should have this amazing career and this adoring husband with 2.5 children and a white picket fence to complete it all, possibly an obedient dog too! In reality I am divorced with 3 rambunctious boys who only seem to have an energy button or super energy button, I am currently unemployed and running out of savings! And I'm pretty sure my dog was satan himself!

 I began to feel this enormous pressure to change my entire life in the next 14 days. News flash! never gonna happen! When I sat down to pray I realized what am I doing? Why am I discounting my entire life just because I don't have what "the world" suggests or I am not the way that sometimes people are portrayed at my age. God began to show me all I do have, He reminded me and showed me a picture of where I was just even 10 years ago and how far I have come. I had instant peace because I realized I bought into the lie that we need to have things to be worth something. I do have much, I am blessed with 3 wonderful boys who love the Lord and love their mom and are active and healthy. I have a wonderful home that God has provided for us that I can raise my children in. I had a savings to rely on when I lost a job. He has carried me through all the tough times. I have something much bigger than all of those things though. I have Jesus, I have my savoir who loves me with a love that nothing compares to. I have a God that sent his only son to be tortured and die on the cross just for me! (you too!) I have this love and heart for people that pours out on a daily basis that was put there by God. I can look back over my life and see every time I was protected by God and even when I went through things that were less than desirable He turned them into things that bring Him glory. Just as he promised He would. Romans 8:28 " And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 

I now see a changed woman. I see someone who came from something ugly and broken and how God has changed me and who I am down to my core. I couldn't have made that change even if I wanted to! As I approach 30, I do so with hope and excitement. Joy in knowing that my future lies in Gods hands and that's the best place it can be! I know there will be many more struggles in my life, obstacles i will need to overcome but I no longer have to face them alone. In the words of Chris Tomlin "the god of angel armies is always by my side". I am going to move forward resting in Gods promises and who I am in Christ not what I have here on earth or the status that I have attained. After all "And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?" Matthew 16:26. I'm going to move forward seeing my worth the way God sees it. 

Philippians 3:8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ

pleading my case

So I was doing my hair today and my son came to me and asked me if he could do something. I said no and he said "mom, please!" and began to make promises that we both knew he couldn't keep. I promise I'll be safe, I promise I won't get hurt, please just let me do it! He was trying to assure me that he knew best, he knew better than me! His mom, who carried him and created him, with the help of my ex husband and God of course! Now we know pretty much about our children, after all we are the ones who love them most on this earth and we spend the most time with them and invest in them. I know (for the most part) whats good for my children and what could potentially harm them. Some battles are lost or not worth fighting. For example my 6 year old loves to run around outside without shoes, our backyard is safe but there is always a chance that he could step on a bee or stub his toe. After hours of convincing him its a better idea to wear shoes, i decided to let him go and he would deal with the consequences. Not even 10 minutes later he came inside crying and his toe was bleeding. He banged it on the porch. Nothing some water and a band aid couldn't fix. Through the tears he said I should have listened to you. I said well I tried to tell you but you needed to figure this out on your own. Next time wears shoes okay!

 I started thinking how at times I can be like that with God. How if I want something I go to him even when I have a feeling that its probably not the best idea and I almost plead my case, begging Him and making promises that i really can't keep. Like God i want to date this guy who is not a christian, I promise I will always be a good example or I promise that it wont effect me. Maybe its I want this job God and i promise it wont get in the way of my relationship with you or my family life. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knitted us together in our mothers womb, knows every hair on our heads. When he gives us something or sometimes doesn't, I believe that its for our good. I also do believe just like with my son, there are times where we need to go through trials to realize that its not good for us. No amount of me telling my son that shoes are necessary was going to do it, he had to go out there and stub his toe to realize "hey mom was right, I need shoes". Are there things in your life that you aren't surrendering to God? Whatever the reason may be, we need to realize that God, our creator knows us and loves us so much and wants to protect us from unnecessary hurt and pain. Either way god will use your situation. He will use it to grow you and to refine you.

I'm so thankful that even when I make mistakes that God is there with open arms ready to embrace me when I fall and get hurt, still loves me even when I mess up. Just like we are there for our children. Can u trust that He knows best? Can you give that situation your struggling with over to Him? Reach out to him in prayer and He is always there....

Are you beautiful?

I was out to dinner the other day and someone was telling me a story about how he held the door open for this girl at the gas station and she didn't say thank you. He went on to say that he doesn't mind holding the door for a "hot" girl but this girl was ugly and you can't be ugly and nasty at the same time. "Ugly girls that are nasty serve no purpose" I looked him straight in the eyes and said "who decides the standard of beauty?" I began to think about this for the next few days about the difference between pretty and ugly. What makes a girl pretty? what makes her ugly? What does society say about beauty? 

I know I struggle with beauty and the thought that I must compete with supermodels that I see on TV. I can change lots of things about me to fit the standard of beauty. I can dye my hair, change my body through exercise and even surgery, spend all my money on the latest clothes, get my teeth fixed, go tanning and on and on. But then what? When does it end? When will I be beautiful? 

Now you want to spend hours at the gym and whiten your teeth and even blow your money on the hottest trends that is your choice. I think it is very important to live a healthy life for multiple reasons. We need to be active and healthy so that we can more effectively share the gospel as well as be an example to our children. But sometimes us women can get so caught up in outer beauty that we neglect to see our value and worth through Gods eyes. When we see these women on television that we look nothing like, who have been so airbrushed they are almost beyond recognition, a lot of us have a bit of a struggle. Its easy to be discouraged when your standard is ever changing like the worlds, one day super skinny is in, then nope gain a few pounds. Then brunettes are sexy, but wait blondes have more fun! In parenting the boys I try hard to teach them to see beauty the way that God sees it. That the most beautiful thing in a girl is her spirit and her love for the Lord, that a heart after Jesus is far better than a girl who is just "hot". I've said it before ladies, looks fade and gravity always wins! Pour your energy into your relationship with the Lord and focus on being the woman of God that you were meant to be. The right man will find you if you are still single and if you are married you will be even more beautiful to your husband. I heard a quote the other day that says "If you use carnal means to get a man, you will need to use carnal means to keep him". Don't be so concerned with trying to be hot or sexy to get someone or even keep them. Remember your worth and value in Christ and how beautiful you are to Him. 

Proverbs 31:30- Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:25- She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 

So next time you want to know how to become more beautiful or attractive to the opposite sex put down the vogue or cosmo magazine and pick up your bible and search the scriptures, our standard should be Gods standard. Next time your feeling "ugly" or unattractive or unloved go to God and ask Him to help you see yourself through His eyes. Remember you are worth dying for!

Loveology

So a few weeks ago I started a study in my home based on the book Loveology by: John Mark Comer. Let me just say wow, tonight we are wrapping up the 5 week study and honestly I am sad that it is over. I personally have learned so much about love and marriage, romance and singleness from this study. I know the girls have benefited from it as well. Each week John Mark focuses on a different subject and we dive into Gods word to see what the bible says about these important topics. Its been an awesome journey looking back at our past choices and really looking at biblical examples of how to date and what marriage looks like. I think this book makes for a great ladies study or even a small group study with a few married couples. We have a good mixture in our group of married, engaged and single and its safe to say that everyone has benefited from this book.

I think my favorite topic was sex.... In all honesty its a tough subject not just because it can be uncomfortable but really and truly sometimes we like to do what we want to do and we don't want to hear that its wrong or that we need to stop doing something we enjoy. It was interesting how the author pointed out that sex was really created for our enjoyment... within the context of marriage. I never really understood why sex before marriage was wrong besides the obvious things that could go along with unprotected sex. I new it was wrong but it didn't really click for me. I just was like well God says we cant and the church frowns upon it so its just a no no. Obviously like any other thing in our lives we still like to "break the rules" or test the boundaries if you know what I mean. Going through this study and really getting into Gods word is when I began to see that God was trying to protect me from something. He wasn't saying no sex before marriage cause i'm trying to keep you from having fun but he was saying "Hey I love you and I want the best for you". Sex is a very powerful thing.. Having sex with someone is one of the most intimate things that you can experience with another person. John Mark says in his book that having sex with someone is "to know" them and to "be known" you get to know someone inside and out. That bond that you create with that person is irreversible and permanent. Society tells us that sex is just sex and you can have meaningless emotionless sex with anyone you want and if you take the right precautions there wont be any consequences. That is just another lie we are taught to believe. The truth is that every time you make love to someone you give a piece of yourself away, a piece you can't get back no matter how desperately you try. Sex makes lust look like love... Sex makes relationships that should have ended long ago hold on and they usually end in painful breakups or horrible divorces.
Sex it self isn't bad, its actually very good. God created sex for us to enjoy, its a gift. Its a way to bring us back together to our spouse and re-fuse us as one. We were sexual before we were sinful as John Mark says in his book. Our sexual desires for another are a completely natural God given thing. But marriage is the only relationship that is strong enough to hold the power that sex has.
If we look back through our past can we see the effects of not listening to Gods instruction on this? I certainly can.... I can see how relationships lasted longer and my judgement was clouded because of this very thing. Can you look back and see the damage that was caused in your life for something that society says is "no big deal"? Sex-a gift meant to be shared between a husband a wife, a selfless act, an act of worship turns into something completely different.... broken hearts, abusive relationships, pornography, sexual addictions, abortions, STDs, all these things that are all about us and definitely not about God. Listen the point is this, I love my 3 boys and i would do anything to protect them, sparklers are fun right? Well I am certainly not going to give my boys matches and a box of sparklers and tell them to go have fun. Of course not! Sparklers in the right context are fun, under my supervision so I can make sure that they don't get hurt or hurt someone else. Sex is fun (you know its the truth!) But it is very dangerous outside its original purpose or plan. God loves us enough to try to protect us from hurt. Remember God created Sex right and we all agreed that sex is fun... Ummm thank you God for making something fun for us to enjoy! What an awesome God!

The good news is that its never to late, if your married, go have sex with your spouse!! Go have the fun that God intended! If your having sex and your not married, whether your single or even engaged. Wait, have patience, ask God to help you to obey him in this area, its difficult i know but He can help you. If your dealing with the consequences of choices that you made and your feeling broken Jesus can make you whole, you can have a fresh start with Him. He can heal any hurt, any bad decision. If you still don't see a problem with sex outside of marriage I suggest reading this book and taking a look at song of solomon and even genesis. Pray and ask God to help you see, I did and he completely changed my outlook on it and for that I am so grateful!
Happy Thursday!!

Back to it

Once again I have failed at keeping this updated, I could blame many things but the reality is it was pure laziness. We have recently been blessed with the opportunity to live in a 3 bedroom house in another neighborhood. After much prayer I decided to move myself and my children to another home. There was a little resistance from the boys because they enjoyed the small cramped two bedroom apartment we called home. We are all moved in and are still trying to make it feel like home. They are adjusting well. School starts today and after a lot of tears and prayers I decided to take on the rewarding challenge of homeschooling them. All 3 of them! With the help of PA cyber school and some bible lessons we are on our way to a successful school year! I have also been blessed with the opportunity to change jobs which will allow me to be off every Sunday so that I can be back at church every week. Its so important for the children and I to worship together each week and they need to see that I am making that a priority. I must say that when I finally decided to pray and ask the Lord to provide a job without weekends he moved quickly, very quickly, when I got the call I was like “slow down lord to many changes to fast”.  I still took time to pray and make sure that it was the right move spiritually as well as financially for my family. In the end it was and making that step of faith was the hardest move of all. Truth be told I don’t like change, I like things that I can control. That’s my security, my comfort. God was giving me exactly what I wanted and was praying for and I still was hesitant because I wasn’t sure that things would work out. When it came down to it I realized that I thought I was trusting in the Lord to provide all my needs but in reality I was trusting in myself and my ability.  I have to meditate on those verses that remind us how much he cares for us and how much he provides and carries us through those times we feel like we just cant make it. Its funny, every time that I get stressed I have to train myself to think back over my life and all the times where I thought it wasn’t going to work and God pulled it off. As always he keeps his promises. My god has always provided, protected me and loved me even at my worst times. Wow people let us down constantly and the only one who remains faithful is Him. He always exceeds my expectations.

Today I am going to meditate on how much I am loved by my heavenly father. You should too. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, pray and watch how he changes you.  Have a wonderful day Ladies!