Perfection

So the last few days the Lord has really been working on me with my children and how I parent them. The conclusion that I come to when I look back over the past few months is that I have tried so hard to keep up a certain image and retain some sort of control and order in my house since my divorce that I have neglected the simple things. I have almost required this perfect standard that is impossible for my children to achieve. They try so hard but fail daily. There have been a few examples that I would like to share.....

Last week my oldest child brought home a test where he had gotten all the answers correct except one. Now that's great your thinking, well my first reaction was ever since the first day of school he has been bringing home perfect papers and perfect tests what happened. I immediately wanted to jump all over him and ask why and how. Then the spirit stopped me in my tracks and reminded me that my son needs praise and to be reminded that even when he doesn't live up to my crazy standards that I love him just the same. Plus gals I know I'm crazy I can't expect perfection from anyone, if I do I will always be let down! Then my middle son for some reason is not very affectionate. I am so concerned with making sure that he is obedient that I neglect to love on him as much as he needs. I forget to spend time cuddling with him and saying I love you, I am too busy telling him all the things he needs to remember to do and correcting him. I noticed it last week when I was trying to get him to hug his brother after an altercation. He could barely hug him let alone utter out the words "I love you". I wondered how many times a day does he hear that from me?

My point here is that I am way to concerned with the outward and not the heart. Its pretty obvious too that I want some sort of praise for having my stuff together when the truth is life is hard! I am a single mom with three boys under the age of 6. I put this standard on myself also that I have to have a perfect house and perfect kids and not let anyone see that I am struggling. Why not, Whats the harm if people see that I can't do it all. What a powerful testimony that would be if I showed more often how I struggle and how in all reality if I didn't have god I couldn't make it through a day! Lets turn the eyes of the world to God and off of us.

Now I am taking time to love my children and allow them the room to fail and receive grace and unconditional love. I am allowing myself to not meet my own unattainable standards and its so freeing. When my kids are adults are they going to remember a perfectly clean home and that everyone thought they were perfect children, or will they remember how much I loved them unconditionally and provided encouragement and a safe place to come where they don't feel judged. I know the answer and I am so thankful that the Lord brought this to my attention before it was to late! I saw a quote once that said mothers know that the days are long but the years go by way to fast... so so true!

Heavenly father thank you for our blessings, thank you for the hard times and the "easy times". Help us as mothers to show unconditional love to our children and point them to you and remind them that while we fail at always loving them correctly you don't. Help us to remember to show grace in times where we might want to react and help us to think about the real reason we are disappointed in our children. Thank you Lord for your love and grace and mercy, In Jesus name, Amen!