Loveology

So a few weeks ago I started a study in my home based on the book Loveology by: John Mark Comer. Let me just say wow, tonight we are wrapping up the 5 week study and honestly I am sad that it is over. I personally have learned so much about love and marriage, romance and singleness from this study. I know the girls have benefited from it as well. Each week John Mark focuses on a different subject and we dive into Gods word to see what the bible says about these important topics. Its been an awesome journey looking back at our past choices and really looking at biblical examples of how to date and what marriage looks like. I think this book makes for a great ladies study or even a small group study with a few married couples. We have a good mixture in our group of married, engaged and single and its safe to say that everyone has benefited from this book.

I think my favorite topic was sex.... In all honesty its a tough subject not just because it can be uncomfortable but really and truly sometimes we like to do what we want to do and we don't want to hear that its wrong or that we need to stop doing something we enjoy. It was interesting how the author pointed out that sex was really created for our enjoyment... within the context of marriage. I never really understood why sex before marriage was wrong besides the obvious things that could go along with unprotected sex. I new it was wrong but it didn't really click for me. I just was like well God says we cant and the church frowns upon it so its just a no no. Obviously like any other thing in our lives we still like to "break the rules" or test the boundaries if you know what I mean. Going through this study and really getting into Gods word is when I began to see that God was trying to protect me from something. He wasn't saying no sex before marriage cause i'm trying to keep you from having fun but he was saying "Hey I love you and I want the best for you". Sex is a very powerful thing.. Having sex with someone is one of the most intimate things that you can experience with another person. John Mark says in his book that having sex with someone is "to know" them and to "be known" you get to know someone inside and out. That bond that you create with that person is irreversible and permanent. Society tells us that sex is just sex and you can have meaningless emotionless sex with anyone you want and if you take the right precautions there wont be any consequences. That is just another lie we are taught to believe. The truth is that every time you make love to someone you give a piece of yourself away, a piece you can't get back no matter how desperately you try. Sex makes lust look like love... Sex makes relationships that should have ended long ago hold on and they usually end in painful breakups or horrible divorces.
Sex it self isn't bad, its actually very good. God created sex for us to enjoy, its a gift. Its a way to bring us back together to our spouse and re-fuse us as one. We were sexual before we were sinful as John Mark says in his book. Our sexual desires for another are a completely natural God given thing. But marriage is the only relationship that is strong enough to hold the power that sex has.
If we look back through our past can we see the effects of not listening to Gods instruction on this? I certainly can.... I can see how relationships lasted longer and my judgement was clouded because of this very thing. Can you look back and see the damage that was caused in your life for something that society says is "no big deal"? Sex-a gift meant to be shared between a husband a wife, a selfless act, an act of worship turns into something completely different.... broken hearts, abusive relationships, pornography, sexual addictions, abortions, STDs, all these things that are all about us and definitely not about God. Listen the point is this, I love my 3 boys and i would do anything to protect them, sparklers are fun right? Well I am certainly not going to give my boys matches and a box of sparklers and tell them to go have fun. Of course not! Sparklers in the right context are fun, under my supervision so I can make sure that they don't get hurt or hurt someone else. Sex is fun (you know its the truth!) But it is very dangerous outside its original purpose or plan. God loves us enough to try to protect us from hurt. Remember God created Sex right and we all agreed that sex is fun... Ummm thank you God for making something fun for us to enjoy! What an awesome God!

The good news is that its never to late, if your married, go have sex with your spouse!! Go have the fun that God intended! If your having sex and your not married, whether your single or even engaged. Wait, have patience, ask God to help you to obey him in this area, its difficult i know but He can help you. If your dealing with the consequences of choices that you made and your feeling broken Jesus can make you whole, you can have a fresh start with Him. He can heal any hurt, any bad decision. If you still don't see a problem with sex outside of marriage I suggest reading this book and taking a look at song of solomon and even genesis. Pray and ask God to help you see, I did and he completely changed my outlook on it and for that I am so grateful!
Happy Thursday!!